1. Yes, dear, I know you want milk tea, but be quiet.
  2. Over yonder, across the parking lot.
  3. Do you see them?
  4. Fuqbois.
  5. The Asian ones.
  6. Whether they’re at a milk tea place playing cards, or grouped up at the gym screaming while one does twenty pound weights, they’re always traveling in packs.
  7. Don’t stare at them too much; they might notice us.
  8. They’re too busy being obnoxiously loud and drinking nearby one car, but one may never know.
  9. They wear the wife beaters so tight around their chest with nipples pointing out and backwards hat in order to establish dominance.
  10. Oh wait, there’s a token girl there amidst the sea of eight fuqbois.
  11. Unlike lions, they travel with mostly males.
  12. They camp in a distinct spot, marking their territory with vape smoke and playing cards.
  13. Quick, get down.
  14. One of them looked in our direction.
  15. You don’t want to be attacked by these animals.
  16. No, you won’t get injured.
  17. But your ears will bleed from their distinguished high-pitched voices.
  18. The good thing is that you will always be able to tell when you’re in a 2.4 mile radius of these beings.
  19. Because they always screech, be it a waning signs against other fuqbois, or a mating call.
  20. It is a rare sight to behold, these fuqbois.
  21. To see them in daylight.
  22. They usually prowl around at the dead of night, in order to fill the silence with their squalls.
  23. Maybe, they’re evolving.
  24. Soon, we will be overcome by them.
  25. Quickly now, we must get a move on.
  26. Milk tea will have to wait another day.
  27. Stay tuned for another episode of the Fuqboi Discovery Channel.