We met through a friend, of a friend, of a friend.
She didn’t care for me much.
Yet, she always put up with me.
I adored her for that.
We became, what I thought, close.
Still, I wanted more from her.
I wanted an us.
An us that was highly unlikely.
I was scared of her.
Scared of losing her.
I carefully watched what I said to her.
Until one day, I didn’t watch closely enough.
She was gone.
It’s been about four months since I last spoke to her.
Around three years since we met.
I wasn’t depressed that she disappeared.
I was just wondering.
Wondering whether or not things could have been different.
All the pet names and little jumps of joy whenever I spoke with her.
Does she think of me, still?
We left on such bad terms.
Probably forgot about me by now.
As a result of keeping her from my feelings as much as possible.
I had lost her in the process.
She was a girl I called Senpai.