We met through a friend, of a friend, of a friend.

She didn’t care for me much.

Yet, she always put up with me.

I adored her for that.

We became, what I thought, close.

Still, I wanted more from her.

I wanted an us.

An us that was highly unlikely.

I was scared of her.

Scared of losing her.

I carefully watched what I said to her.

Until one day, I didn’t watch closely enough.

She was gone.

It’s been about four months since I last spoke to her.

Around three years since we met.

I wasn’t depressed that she disappeared.

I was just wondering.

Wondering whether or not things could have been different.

All the pet names and little jumps of joy whenever I spoke with her.


I wonder.

Does she think of me, still?

We left on such bad terms.

Probably forgot about me by now.

As a result of keeping her from my feelings as much as possible.

I had lost her in the process.

She was a girl I called Senpai.